12 December 2012

Fortress of Faith: Study Three- Foundation of Love

"1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13 v 1-13

In our first two studies, we spoke very generally of love being the foundation to our Fortress of Faith. However, what does that mean? As a woman in the military, as a Christian woman, are we truly living a life of love, or are we merely doing and saying what we think we should as a Christian?

This week we are going to discuss verse 4:


"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."


Fairly cut and dry.  Think of someone in your life who you truly love- your significant other, your child, your sibling, your parent, your closest friend.  It is easy to to be patient with that person, because you accept them regardless of their warts.  It is easy to be kind to someone you know and love.  It is easy to share in their successes.  It is easy to humble yourself when you are around them and put them first.  It is easy to temper your pride with facts of the matter because you know they can see the real you.

However, how do we put this into action in the Military?  If you have never been exposed to women of different beliefs, values, and ideals before being involved with the military way of life, you certainly are now.  These women come from all over the country, sometimes from all over the world.  These women may look different, may act different, may even speak different- and yet, because they are also tied to the military in some way, they are our sisters.

Being patient and kind despite differences of opinion and perspective can be a hard task.  This can be even harder if you are assigned in a chain of command where beliefs, values, and ideals clash roughly.  However, as  Christian women, doing our duty as military members and following orders, or supporting our spouses as they follow orders, it is more importantly our duty to be thoughtful of His Will with every step we take and every word that comes out of our mouths.

Today, it is the impatient and judgemental Christian that rip our churches and study groups apart pushing those that need His love in their lives away.   By acting on patience and kindness as extensions of His love, we open doors to other women who need His love in their lives. 

By tearing down those women we are jealous of- they were promoted and we were passed up, they have everything we have only dreamed of, they appear to have their lives all put together, we tear down the plan He has for us!  Instead of being jealous, be excited for the woman who has met with success.  Be enthusiastic for the woman who seems to have it all!  Be encouraging to the woman who seems to have it all together.  Just as those women have no real idea of the beauty of your soul, and have no idea what blessings and what struggles you live with, you have no idea of theirs.  Envy only breaks down the potential to have a loving and respectful relationship with that woman. 

Do not boast, and be not proud... Active Duty women will have a unique struggle with this.  Being in the military, being eligible for promotion, forces military women to keep continual accounting of all the good things they have done.  This in itself is not a bad thing.  Yet, it causes us to walk to a fine line.  When I joined, all evaluations were leadership led.  By the time I left the military, the evaluations were individual led- leadership approved.

For me, writing my own bullets was really hard, while writing the evaluations for my troops was really easy.  I would talk to friends about how they overcame writing their own evaluations, and the consensus was typical of what we see so much in society- "I did more than so and so- so I deserve________"   There used to be pride in doing the task at hand to very best of one's ability.  However, that pride in doing one's best has morphed into outdoing everyone else and making sure everyone knows it- although that may also mean a less quality product. 

This is how boasting and pridefulness are dangerous.  When we allow those things into our work ethic, they start to bleed into our character.  Our pride needs to be in a strength outside ourselves.  Our boasting needs to be in the love and faith we reside in, and in the unit and leadership who we are attached to.  Our pride needs to be in our Lord, and in our presence in a military that He has brought us to.

Can you think of a situation where your impatience or lack of kindness could have pushed someone away?  Do you have the opportunity to revisit with that person and see the situation from His eyes, and maybe change your perspective of how to interact with that person?

Can you think of someone you work with or come into contact with that you are jealous of?  What things about that person causes you to feel jealous?  In what ways can you turn that jealousy into love?

Is there anything in your career or personal life of which you are overly proud of?  Are you balanced on the fine line of tempered pride, or are you tipping over to the boastful side? 

Note: Removing pride from your life does not mean that you do not take credit for your work, or that you pay no attention to your beautiful characteristics that make you unique.  A woman's psyche is built on a need to have a strong sense of self, to have a good self-esteem.  The pride that this verse is discussing is that which builds yourself up while tearing others down- there is no love, certainly not His love, in that kind of pride.

May this week show you examples of love through patience and kindness!  May He introduce women to you that you can practice this verse with.  May He help you bite back your boastfulness and swallow your pride, that others can be lifted to His heart!

God bless!
~C. Borden

Related passages:
Psalm 37 v 1-9
Jeremiah 9 v 23-25
Colossians 3 v 11-13

Copyright © 2012 C.H.Borden

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